Nothing Lasts Forever chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

My mom Lucy was a high profile psychologist for the wealthy in New York City, and the wealthy would also include the occasional celebrity, which would (depending on the celebrity) make her in the spotlight a lot. Drew, my dad on the other hand was in the spotlight for a different reason. He was well known as the publicist for A-list celebrities such as Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Matt Damon and many other people. You would think he would try to keep a good image because of is clients, but he didn’t. He would do things such as go to a movie premiere with Matt Damon and his wife, and he would arrive piss drunk, unable to be controlled, which made word around New York City and Hollywood. Several situations like that led to him losing his job, and my mom divorcing from him to get me to a healthy home environment, and because he was ruining my mom’s career too. He would talk bad about her to the press, which was the reason the number of clients she had went down. 

Then the great day came when my mom met Luke Hunter. He was visiting his son’s wife in New York City who happened to be my mom’s intern, and the rest is history. Luke used to work as a publicist in LA, but got tired of it all and decided to move to Mystic and open his own authentic Mexican restaurant, “Cazador” which is his last name in spanish. This was weird because New England was all seafood. He now owns every seafood restaurant in Mystic and tries to add a little Mexican twist to all the dishes. Luke proposed to my mom on his friends boat in the middle of Mystic River, while the sun was setting. It was beautiful. I should know, I photographed the whole thing. They then got married and have been married happily ever after ever since, but there was the issue of my biological father not wanting to stop living in the same state as him. I haven’t spoken to my father in over a year, though I was sad about it, I’m glad I got out of there thanks to my mom. 

As I was thinking about everything that I’ve gone through in my life I looked through my bedroom window after I heard cheerful screaming. I gently put some of the pictures of my friends and I on my dresser and realized it was my mom and Luke. Luke had surprised her with a homemade batch of rice crispy treats which are my mom’s kryptonite, and based on her facial expression she definitely enjoyed them. As I saw them through my window smiling, laughing, and looking like a two teenagers in love, I realized something. I don’t think that I had ever seen my mom as happy as she was now, with a man (well that I know of). Whenever she was around Luke she couldn’t stop smiling, and I was more than glad that she found a man that would take care of us and make both of us happy, and protect us no matter what. I have always hoped to someday fall in love with someone like they have. 

After looking at their cute PG (luckily) love fest, I decided to decorate my room with all my pictures and such. Box after box was with the hundreds of photos I’ve taken that I thought were “artistic looking” that my mom still wanted to keep in case I become famous one day and she can embaress me. Looking at some of these, they weren’t that bad for a 10 year old with a digital camera. I’ve always had a thing with taking photos, it didn’t matter of what, just taking photos. I loved pulling them up on my computer and editing them and hanging them up around my room. 

After only a couple of hours I had my bathroom, and bedroom all set up with all of my stuff, but just has I was about open my macbook to check Facebook my phone starting ringing. *Your stare was holdin’ Ripped jeans, skin was showin’ Hot night win was blown’ Where you think you’re going baby? Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, But here’s my number, So call me maybe* Carly Rae Jepson's hit single was ringing. I’d love to listen to the rest, but I have to see who is calling. It was a number I’ve never seen, but I still answered. “Hello?” I said a little scared, I never got numbers like this, maybe it was a wrong dial. “Heey! Is this Chuckee Cheese?” a very familiar male voice said to me. This voice sounded so familiar to me, and I knew who it was, their name was on the top of my tongue. “Helllloooooo?” the guy said. Thankfully this guy couldn’t see my face because I was making the same creepy smile that the Grinch made in a Grinch stole Christmas. I knew who it was. 

Nothing Last's Forever chapter 1

Spring: Sophomore Year

CHAPTER 1

I woke up to a loud slamming of a sliding door and people throwing things, and what I thought was a kind hand rubbing my head to wake me up. “Sweetie, we’re here. We’re finally here. Can you help bring some boxes inside the house?” The voice sounded familiar, and as I rubbed my mascara smeared eyes from sleeping I realized that my mom was the one talking to me, and rubbing my head. Thank goodness, if she was actually one of those sweating,creepy moving guys I have no idea what I would have done, other than scream. “Sure mom, no problem. Just give me a minute to fully wakeup.” I said while getting out of our silver lexus and stretching. “Okay sweetie, I’ll just be helping....” I just zoned her out after she started saying the names of the moving guys, I really didn’t need to know there names. After I finished stretching and checking my face and hair, I went to the back of the moving truck and started to take boxes to our new home. Though it wasn’t huge, it was still my dream home, it was gorgeous. It had the New England looking siding to it, a huge wrap around porch, and a couple of porch swings where my mom and I could have our when needed girl talks.

Our new home was nothing like our apartment in New York City. For one thing it was actually a home and second, we didn’t have any twenty something couples banging the life out of each other every Friday and Saturday night after clubbing. I still can’t get the banging of their bed out of my mind, sadly my room was always right next to their chosen fornicating location. My mom and I had to move because she was once married to my biological dad, but he had a really bad drinking problem and it ruined our lives, so we moved to little old upstate Connecticut to get away from him. Luckily my mom met the greatest guy ever named Luke, who has taken care of us ever since I could remember. Thank goodness I have a smart mom, because we where moving in with that great man. She said yes to his beach front proposal and they were married June 14 2008, or other wise known as Flag Day. Luke lived in Mystic, a small water front town that was just the new type of atmisphere that my mom and I needed after dealing with my biological dad. 

As I was walking towards our gorgeous new house, I felt a manly hand on my shoulder. A normal 16 girl would be freaked out over her mind because she would think that it was one of those sketchy mover guys but I knew that touch, I’ve felt that fatherly touch before, I’ve seen the shine of that wedding band before. The whole thing seemed to happen it slow motion. I dropped the boxes I was holding and luckily they where pillows and bed stuff or else they would have been destroyed. I turned my head, then my whole body, and right in front of me was Luke smiling from ear to ear. I gave him the hugest hug that I think I’ve ever given him before, and he did the same while picking me up off of the ground and spinning me like a 5 year old. He kissed me on the cheek and set me down, “How are you sweetie?” he said. “I’m okay, I was woken up from all the banging of moving truck doors and such, but I’m a lot better now!” I said with a huge smile on my face, and I pretty much knocked over Luke with another huge hug. “Well these boxes won’t bring themselves into your new home” Luke said with a huge smile. “So I already but most of your bedroom stuff in your new room, you just have to bring up your other bedroom stuff, your mom and I will do the rest with the help of the movers.” He said after ruffling my hair. So I did what he told me to do. The boxes I had previously dropped where now in my hands on their way to our beautiful classic New England home. I brought the boxes I dropped after I first saw him into my new room, damn this room was perfect, not to big and not to small. The room I had when my mom and I lived in New York was pretty small, you could barely fit a twin bed in it, but it was the best my mom could do being a single parent and losing many of clients in her practice being a psychologist due to her and my dad’s high profile divorce.

Writing

I'm not totally sure what it is about writing and I. I just like doing it, especially when I try to make the story a little more personal, it feels sort of theraputic. (Sp?) Letting out all of my feelings onto my laptop (well not like beating it up, or crying on it) but just typing it out on maybe how I prefered the situation to be, or how it actually happened. I just feel sometimes for me its easier to write it out instead of talking about it. Even if I write out the situation between to puppies, or two old people being married for 80 years, or even using the the real names of people or the actual situation. It still works for me.

And I guess that's why I want to become a screen writer. I'm not going to be one of those hipsters at starbucks that sits there for meaningless hours typing out a screenplay that will never be developed. I want to be the type of person that is working in a office (Either at work, or at leisure of my own home), just typing away, and then sending it off somewhere to get made into a movie, or tv show (i would prefer a movie because the stories I write tend to be longer). but i know that getting to that place won't be easy, it will take time and hard work. Just like my mom asked/told me the other day. She asked me if i knew that to go into the media industry I might have to be the assistant of an assistant's assistant's assistant's grabbing coffee.



But i will do what ever it takes. I just love doing it.

If today was your last day chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I read it over and over again, trying to process the whole thing. I didn’t know how to deal with the anger I felt but something in me told me that it was worthless to blow up and throw things around the room. So instead of going ballistic, I opened up my guitar case that contained my acoustic guitar and grabbed a pen and the notepad I kept in the drawer of the table beside the couch. For about an hour and a half, I wrote a song that conjured up every emotion I was feeling at the moment. Once I deemed myself ready, I got up, placed the guitar back in its case and placed the lyrics in my pocket. I made my way to the foyer and retrieved the keys before heading out of my house to my car. I placed the guitar in the passengers seat before driving to the only cemetery I knew was in town. I didn’t know why I was doing this but for some reason I needed to tell Rileigh these things. So once I got to the cemetery, I brought my guitar to where her mother’s grave was, knowing that she’d land right next to her. I observed the grave and saw that the grass over the soil where her corpse now laid had grown fully. I sat down on the dirt right in front of her grave and read the information that was written on it. 

“So I guess this is where forever ends for us, huh?” I said reaching for my guitar. “But I just want you to know that you can count on me to fulfill the promises you asked me to make. I can’t say I’ll do them whole heartedly though, but I’ll try my best to. Anyway, here’s a song I wrote for you. I hope you like it.” And with that, I started strumming the familiar chords that had been ringing in my ears since about an hour ago. The song was called Listen to Your Heart and I only wish I wrote this sooner so she could her me sing it to her. 

“We’re too young, this is never gonna work.” 

That’s what they say, “you’re gonna get hurt”

But I know something they don’t.  

I hear your heart; it’s beating right in time.

Right from the start, I knew I had to make you mine.

And I now know I’ll never let you go. 

Don’t they know that love won’t lie?

Don’t listen to the world, they say we’re never gonna make it.

Don’t listen to  your friends; they would’ve never let us start.

Don’t listen to the voices in your head, listen to your heart.

This promise, doesn’t have to be so loud.

Just whisper, I could find you in a crowd.

I think it’s time we ran away.

Your father say’s I’m not good enough for you

Your mother, thinks this is just a phase

I think that we should run away.............

Hours have gone by and so did the many visitors to the cemetery and it had started to get so dark that I can barely see the rest of the graves. I know that I should be getting back home, but I didn’t care. I had to finish singing this song to Rileigh, she would have wanted me to, so I continued on. 

.................Don’t listen to the world, they say we’re never gonna make it

But  I know we’ll make it

Don’t listen to your friends, they’ve would’ve never let us start.

Don’t listen to the voices in your head

Love will never let us fall apart

you gotta listen to your heart

Go on and listen to your heart

You’ve got to listen to your heart

Come on a listen to you’re heart

Listen to your heart.

I let the tears fall freely as I mourned for her. Who knew how long the hurt would last? I surely didn’t but I knew that life had to go on no matter what and I wasn’t to throw it away. I had to bring to life her last wishes and nothing was going to stop me from doing it.

THE END

if today was your last day chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

*3 months later*

Tour, to my surprise, was pretty awesome. I kept a day-to-date journal about everything that happened in hopes that when I returned, Rileigh would be able to read it. I wondered about how she was and how she was dealing with her condition. I didn’t believe that she’d pass away after the week I left. She was too strong for that. She was the most stubborn person I knew and there was no way she was letting death come over her. The bus stopped at my house after a few minutes. The rest of the guys had already been dropped off at their places and my house was the last stop. “Thanks for the ride,” I told the bus driver as I hopped off and watched him drive away. I was too excited to see Rileigh. It had been a long and hard journey without her and I was dying to know how she was feeling. Before I left, the doctor had told me that she’d been feeling better and I knew that that was only the beginning of it. Well, I wasn’t really certain but I had a feeling. I really great feeling that we’d be together for the rest of our lives. 

I walked past my mailbox and noticed the little red flag was up which meant that I had mail. I simply switched hand and made the left carry my bag as I grabbed all the stuff from the mailbox. There were a bunch of letters from fans I met on the road, but there was one with a different envelope. It was one from the hospital that Rileigh was staying at. There was a big red heart in from of my name on it and I smiled as I ran a finger on it. I climbed the porch in a rush as I grabbed my house key from my back pocket. Once it was opened, I quickly ran inside and literally ran to the living room. I placed my bag on the floor and the other letters on the coffee table eager to read what was written in the envelope that Rileigh had sent me. I smiled as I opened the envelope. Tearing it up here and there, and flipped open the flaps of the paper she had written on. I just looked at the words on the paper and loved how her handwriting had grown through the years. I looked at the words on the paper and loved how her handwriting had grown through the years. I looked at the very top and saw that she had written this on the day I told her I was leaving for tour. I smiled as I remembered every detail of that day. I didn’t delay it any longer. I started to read it from the very top.

Dear Owen,

This would be even cornier if your name was John, just like that Amanda Seyfried movie with Channing Tatum. Remember how I asked you to watch it about a thousand times be you refused to because you knew you were going to be the only dude in the theater? We laughed for hours, but I guess it’s not time for fun and games because if you’re reading this letter, that must mean that I’m either in an extensive coma, or I’’m stuck six feet under the ground right next to my mother. You didn’t think I’d leave without saying goodbye for real, did you? But don’t you lose that charming smile of yours. The world needs to see the wonderful smile of yours. I know I would because I practically sigh in adoration inside as I watch your lips curve up the way they do when you show me that you’re happy. 

Anyway, I need you to know that when I’m gone, life will go on and I want you to live it to the fullest with each and passing day. Do crazy things and stay true to yourself. Change only for the better Owen, but I don’t think you’d need to since you’re practically amazing just the way you are. (Sorry, I heard that song a week ago and I never really got around to forgetting the lyrics. HA-HA.) I want you to stay the same no matter what because being someone else might destroy you and everything you’ve worked so hard for in your life. Wait, I just read everything I wrote and I’m not sure I’m making any sense to you Owen? I hope I am because I want letter to be full of sense and meaning. I hope you don’t throw it in the trash after reading. Not that I’d now or whatever. 

So as I’m writing this, I’m actually watching you sleep, and you know what? You have developed a very cute snore. I wish I could her it day in and day out but due to time constraint, I can’t. Can you believe I’m being really perky about this? I know it’s weird; it’s scaring the shit out of me too, but basically I have nothing to say to make things better. I mean when I imagine you reading this, I always see tears forming and the sides of the paper crumpling up as you get tenser. Are you on the verge of shedding this paper into shreds? I hope not. I mean, I want you to read through everything I’ve written down here because I worked my ass off just to write this to you. Just kidding. Owen, I want to remind you to listen to your heat more than your head. Your heart knows what’s real and right and that’s why you have to pay attention to what it say’s and who it knows, maybe it’ll set you free one day. It would probably have said you were meant for someone better than what I could’ve been and that you two would run away together happily, and maybe in time, make a beautiful family. I could already see little boys and girls running around your huge house just laughing and being crazy kids. I wish I could be there to see you have more firsts but unfortunately, time didn’t allow me. Maybe it’s saying that I’m a hinderance to you and that’s why it wanted me far, far away. I don’t know anymore, I’m confused as it is. 

You know, my father always said that what I had with you-our friendship-was just a phase in my life that I should’ve forgotten. Should I have listened to her Owen? So I could relieve you of the pain that might be crawling up your skin right about now? But if I did end up forgetting about you, who would I have? I would’ve had no one left to care for me. You were always there for me Owen, and for that, I’m forever indebted to you. I want to thank you for all the memories that we’ve shared and for the times where you taught me to be who I am now. I want to thank you for staying with me through this very rough patch and for not being like the others who came once and left the next day. I want you to know that in some way, life will reward you. I don’t know how yet, but I’m sure you’ll find out soon. You will be in my heart forevermore, Owen Peyton, and hopefully you’ll get through this and face life as great challenge that you’ll always be willing to accept. Promise me that you’ll never throw your life away and that you’ll always live to chase and follow your dreams. Remember when I told you that the only dreams counted are the ones you had while you were awake? I mean that and I want you to always keep that in mind because I won’t be here to remind you. I wish you the best and always know that I love you.

Sincerely,

Rileigh

if today was your last day chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

“I think I know who you’re talking about,” he said placing me back on the pillow. He leaned on his elbow so he could face me with no problem at all. “Really? Who do you think I’m talking about?” “I think you’re talking about......” He trailed as he leaned in for a kiss, “......that guy over there!” I looked at where he pointed and saw an old man in  a wheel chair. I hit him hard in the chest as he and I laughed like two crazy kids. But that’s just what we were. Two crazy kids in love. “You’re such an ass,” I said looking up at the ceiling. “I’m not sure if the ceiling deserved that. You wouldn’t want him crashing down on you, would you?” I turned to my side and giggled into his chest. A few seconds later, I found his hand under my chin, raising it up so that our lips could meet. I smiled as he kissed me and made sure that nothing could ever break us apart. At this point in my life, every thought in me had changed. I wanted nothing more than to live life knowing that he was right here with me. He was here when I needed him most and I was glad that he never went away without saying goodbye. 

The afternoon that was filled with talking soon turned into a warm and satisfying night. But it wasn’t long before the doctor told him that he had to go since he wanted to speak to me alone. The goodbye was a pretty long process but at least we got to tell each other about how we both felt. He was heading out to tour tomorrow and I was determined to see him when he got back. I was willing to fight for my life now. “Rileigh, I’m afraid that I have some bad news,” the doctor said. I held onto my sheets as I asked her what it was about. Wasn’t she supposed to be telling these things to my father? I didn’t need bad news, it always made me want to give up. “I guess you haven’t really heard but your father left for New York a few days ago. He said he’d be back today but he hasn’t come in yet and we tried his cell, but we couldn’t reach him.” “What’s this about?” I asked resenting my father for not even finding the time to be here whole I was at such a crucial stage. “Okay, so bad news is that you’re not getting any better Rileigh. The chemotherapy isn’t working as well as it should,” she mentioned.

My breath hitched as I thought about Owen and how we were supposed to live together when there was no hope of me living at all. “S-so what else is there to do?” I asked holding back tears. “The only thing we can do is continue the radiation to ease the chest pain and the coughing. Other than that, we have pain medications to stop the brain metastasis that you’ve been complaining about.” “So basically, this is still my last week alive?” I looked up to the doctor who was already breaking at the seams. She took  a deep breath as she nodded slowly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Is there anything else you’d want me to do for you?” the doctor said with a nice soothing tone. “Well, this notebook here is filled with letters. So I might need some envelopes,” I told her and she rushed outside my room to go find some. 

She came back a minute later with a new pack of envelopes and handed them to me. She sat beside me as we talked about my life. I told her my story and about Owen and I was glad I didn’t have to spend the rest of the night alone. I don’t know what I would’ve done. Once I sealed each envelope, I asked her very nicely if she could mail them for me and she told me that she’d be more than happy to. Just as I handed her the letters, my heart started throbbing and my body started to get out of control. I was thrashing around in my bed. My head ached to no end and my breathing had started to become shorter and shorter. I blinked twice before my eyes completely shut. Then I was out like a switch. My life ended here. 

if today was your last day chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

I felt a hand grip mine tightly as my eyes started to flutter like butterflies. I cleared my throat to clear my airway but that did no good at all. It only added to the pain I was feeling. I looked to my left to see whose hand was holding mine and I smiled when I realized that it was Owens. I guess he meant what he said about not wanting to let go of me. I slowly tried to take my hand away from his but I was afraid to wake him. He looked so cute with his mouth open. Sure, he snored a bit but it wasn’t that loud. It reminded me of how we used to spend the night together when we were little and camp out in his backyard. Those nights were probably the best moments of his life. I never thought that we’d eventually move to some high-end compound where almost every other person was a snobby bitch or a spoiled brat. I hated the compound we lived in. We might’ve had a bigger house but I missed the old one. The one I called my real home. 

Once Owen loosened his grip just a bit, I retrieved my hand and grabbed the notebook and pen I left at the side of the table near my bed. I brought this notebook here so that I could write messages to all the people I knew so that if ever we ended the day on a bad note, this note would eventually turn the day upside down. I’ve already made the simple ones for my friends. I wrote one for my father-which wasn’t that long-but the only person I hadn’t written to was Owen. The reason was simple. I didn’t know what to say to him to make my exit from this world okay. I’ve tried to write a few words but I always ended up tearing it up or crossing the words out. The words I wanted to say couldn’t be written. I knew that deep down, I had to say them to him but I was afraid. I didn’t want to regret not following what my heart thought was right, but if I didn’t write anything for Owen, I’d regret that too.

I checked the time and date on the digital clock on my bedside table and saw that it had been a week since I was last conscious. So much for actually trying to make the most of what I had left. I smirked as I realized that the next time I would go unconscious might be it for me. I wasn’t sadistic or anything. It just made me realize that I had to write this and I had to write this now. Having a time limit on my life gave me enough motivation to write an inspirational message and luckily, I finished it right before Owen got up. “What’s that?” He asked as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes. “Just a little journal,” I lied knowing that he wouldn’t touch it if it was something personal. Well, also maybe because I didn’t want anything to go wrong between us. “You must be hungry,” he said changing the subject and getting up. “I brought you something to fill your stomach with. It was about one in the afternoon. I wondered how long he’d been here so I asked him, “Owen, have you been here the whole week?” “Yeah, I couldn’t leave your side,” he smirked as he grabbed a Chinese take-out box and a pair of chopsticks and handed it to me.

“You know that you have a life right?” I told him adjusting the incline on my bed. “I’m fully aware of that. Actually, my life’s revolving around you right now so me being here is pretty sensible,” he told me with a smile as he scooted his chair closer to my bed. “Owen, you know what I mean.” “If you don’t want me here, you can say it to me frankly, but I know for a fact that you like my company so, her I am.” He stood up and sat on my bed and opened the box of food for me when he noticed that I had no intention of opening it up. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t hungry at all. I was just tired. I played with the chopsticks and placed it inside the box grabbing a lot of noodles. I placed it into my mouth and smiled at him as I chewed it but I wanted nothing more than to spit it out. Swallowing this would be the hardest par, but I had to show Owen that I could do it. “So how’s the signed life going for you? Didn’t you always want to be signed under a label?” I asked finally swallowing what I had in my mouth. “It’s going okay,” he said as his smile faded. “What’s wrong?” I asked sitting up and placing the chopsticks inside the box.

“We’re hitting the road tomorrow and I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other again,” he said getting in bed, right beside me. “I guess waking up after a whole week of sleep was worth it,” I said trying desperately to keep the conversation light. I was on the verge of breaking down into tears but I didn’t want to cry for fear that my breaths will shorten and make me unconscious again. I placed the box of food at the side and was glad that he didn’t care if I finished it or not. He started to sing songs to me and right then and there, I wished for more time but it seemed like I didn’t have any more. I was always tired all the time; I wheezed when I breathed; and, whenever Is swallowed something, it felt like I was swallowing needles and knives. I was hopeless-a lost cause. I found it hard to stay awake but I didn’t let sleep take over fully. Once Owen finished singing another song, I twisted so the my face was facing his. This was the time to talk to him about what I felt.

“Owen, we have to talk about what happened last week.” I stated. He nodded and pulled me closer to him. I placed my head on his chest and listened to his heart drum to a certain beat. He placed his arm around me and held me tight. “I never really had the guts to tell you in person because I thought I was out of your league,” he started to say making me laugh. “I’m serious. I thought you liked the kind of guys who could offer the world with the snap of his fingers.” “I don’t need the whole world Mr. Peyton. Actually, my type of guy loves music as much as I do, has a charming smile, and has beautiful green eyes and is there for me all the time. I don’t want a guy who has everything at the palm of his hand but doesn’t know how to love someone as affectionately as my type of guy would. And plus, I’m not high maintenance at all. I’d even date a hobo if that were possible.” I ranted making Owen laugh.

If today was your last day chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Once my father knew about my condition, he went apeshit. He started asking if I did drugs or smoked or did things I wasn’t supposed to. I told him that I did none of that crap but he didn’t believe me, I wasn’t surprised. He never blamed himself for anything, what he didn’t know was that this was all his fault. If he hadn’t me along to his late night poker games with those other rich-ass families, I never would’ve sucked in so much cigar fumes. The smoke came out from each cigar in the room and practically fogged up the whole vicinity and I always smelled like smoke the moment I came back home. He brought us in every Friday and Saturday since I was born. I never got to play with the other kids because they always thought that I wasn’t cool. When my father stopped going to late night poker games, he started smoking wildly in his bathroom while he was supposed to be showering. The negative thing about this was that our bathrooms where next to each other and his bathroom was not properly ventilated. The smoke just went out her window and diffused into my room. The smoke was always so strong that it burned my lungs. I prayed that one day he would quit but that day never came. 

The only person I ever told this too was my doctor and she told me that she was going to speak to my father about it but right as she did my father scolded me for making the doctor think that he was a bad parent. That was true because it was evident in the way he raised me but he was too full of himself to admit it. She always think that he thought that he got everything right. Day’s passed and I’ve learned to call the hospital my new home. Every day I went through different tests since my father didn’t believe that it was lung cancer. He told me that no one could diagnose cancer that quick and I guess it was sensible but with each result came the same illness; Cancer. I gave up on hope and refused to take anymore treatment. Chemotherapy and radiation were just too much for me and what’s worse is that it wasn’t working. 

Most of my friends came to visit but none of them ever got me to really fight my way out of the mess that I was in. All my life I wondered when my death would come and I never suspected it to be this early but now that it was here, I wasn’t afraid of it. When I woke up in the hospital the next morning, I was feeling a tad bit better but being in a room filled with machines hooked to my body just brought down the energy I had in me. I sat up in my bed and looked outside the window. It was raining really hard. My father was nowhere to be found. I was completely alone. “Knock, knock” I heard a familiar voice call out from the door. I looked to the side and smiled when I saw Owen and his friends come in. Kennedy, Garrett, Jared and Jake cam in and attacked me with huge hugs. They all had such wonderful smiles on their faces and I was just so happy to be around them. I haven’t had that many smiles since the day Owen and I went to the arcade and it’s been a week since then.

“Hey guy’s” I said in a whisper. My voice sounded really horrible now. I sounded so hoarse whenever I’d talk and when my friends came in and tried to get me talking, they cringed whenever they heard my voice. “Guess what happened today?” Jake said with the biggest grin on his face. He was practically jumping up and down the bed with excitement. “What?” I asked with just enough voice to make myself be heard. “We got signed today!” Garett said tackling me with another hug. I fell back down on my pillow and hugged all of them together-except Owen. He was just standing by my bed, leaning against a cabinet. “What’s up with you?” I mouthed to him as everyone pulled away from me. “It’s nothing” he said. I looked to the boys right in front of me and they just shrugged. “We’ll, uh, give you two some privacy.” Kennedy mentioned and they filled out of the room. 

I motioned for Owen to come over and I gave him the tightest hug I could handle but it was probably not that strong at all. He sat down on my bed facing me but he wasn’t looking at me. He had his head down looking at the sheets. “Hey what’s wrong?” I asked scooting over closer to him and placing my weak hand on top of his. “I don’t want you sick anymore.” he said, reminding of a little boy. “Owen, we both know that it doesn’t work that way.” I said with a smile as I played with his hair. “But I heard that you’re not receiving any treatment” he said calmly but with some much anger in his eyes. “I don’t take the treatment because it doesn’t do any good. Either way, I’m still going to-” “Don’t say it! Don’t say it! Don’t you dare say it Rileigh.” He turned away and bit his lip as he held back tears that wanted to rush out of his lids. “Owen, I’ll only be prolonging the agony. I don’t want to see you like this. I want you to be happy.” I said placing a hand on his cheek to make him face me. 

“The only time I’m happy is when I’m asleep and dreaming because when I see you in my dreams, you’re healthy and happy. We’re always just singing songs and making music like we always used to.” He swallowed hard. I saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down. I knew he was afraid. I was too, but not for me. I was afraid I was leaving his life and I didn’t know how he was going to deal with it. Moving away from the house next to his to a few blocks away was hard enough. “Oh Owen” I said wrapping my arms around him. “You should know by now that the only dreams matter are the ones you have when you’re awake and right now you’re living your dream.” “But it’s not enough because I don’t get to share it with you” he whispered into my ear. His breath on me felt different. It didn’t want to have to say this but it kinda felt sexy. I pulled away from him slowly as I looked into those green eyes that took me in the first day I saw them. I smiled at him before completely moving away from him but he didn’t give me the chance to get really far. He connected our lips in a split second and for a moment, I just got lost in transition.

“Owen, I really wish you hadn’t done that” I said immediately breaking the kiss apart even if I really didn’t want to. “Rileigh, I want you to understand why I don’t want you gone. When I say that, I don’t just mean because you’re my best friend. I love you as more than that and I can’t stand losing you. I don’t know why I’m only telling you now it’s all slowly falling apart-and I feel really stupid for waiting this long-but I mean every word and I don’t want you going anywhere knowing that you will never ever come back.” Tears ran down my voice like waterfalls. I felt like he just dropped a thousand-pound boulder on my shoulders. What in the world was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to tell him not to feel those feelings for me? How was I supposed to say goodbye when the time came for me to go?

“Owen, I can’t do this with y-you. I j-just c-c-can’t.” My breathing started to get harsher and harsher as each millisecond ticked by. “Rileigh, I need you to breathe, please just inhale and-” But I couldn’t hear what he said next. I was cut from reality by a darkness what consumed me. I thought that was it but i fought hard to make my lungs work again. I couldn’t just leave it like that with Owen. There was so much more that I wanted to tell him. Things like: I loved him more than he could ever imagine and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him., but saying those things would only hold him back from his music dreams. How did a few sentences change all the thoughts in my head? How did living my life become so significant all of a sudden? Why was  even fighting to stay alive right now?

If today was your last day chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

We walked back into the clinic and noticed that Kaylee’s smile fell to the ground when she saw us walk through the sliding doors. I wondered why she was acting like that but it didn’t take long before the same guy who examined me and hour ago saw me and called me into the same room where I was examined. Owen was allowed to come in so he came along. “I have some really bad news for you Ms. Laurent.” the guy said. I could feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. “Your X-ray results show that there’s a tumor growing at the side of your right lung. The cancer cells in your body are spreading fast and we have diagnosed you have stage IV lung cancer. You should’ve reported your illness right away. It could’ve been controlled and treated.” He said with a very serious tone. 

I literally stopped breathing for a while as I took in everything that he just said. I stared at the picture of my lungs on the X-ray machine as I tried to understand exactly what was happening. I can’t have cancer. I can’t go through more examination on a regular basis. I wished hard that he was joking and that he was just scaring me, but I knew that he wasn’t. My right lung looked ugly compared to my left and knowing that that was really my body made me feel nauseous. Owen’s eyes filled with tears when he saw this but he didn’t say a word. He didn’t want to show his weakness. He wanted to show me that he was strong like he always was but I knew that he was breaking at the seams in the inside. I mouthed an “it’s gonna be fine” to him but he just shook his head at me and looked at the floor.

“Now, here’s your prescription for the painkillers you’ll need to ease the pain. You can claim these at the small pharmacy we have right beside the booth where you find the receptionist. Also, I have assigned you to an oncologist. Please see him as soon as you get the drugs” the doctor told me with a hopeful smile but I was far from feeling any sort of hope. I nodded slowly at the doctor and went out of the room after retrieving the prescription. Tears flowed out of my eyes as I approached the pharmacist. I guess news here spreads like wildfire because everyone was giving me sympathetic looks. Owen kept talking to the doctor for some reason but I could interrupt because Kaylee led me to the oncologist’s office discuss my options. Dr. Guillard, the oncologist, lectured me about radiation and chemotherapy but I’ve watched to many movies like “A walk to Remember” to know that those things were complete bullshit so instead of making he waste more time by talking about other treatments, I asked how long I have before my lungs give in. 

“Well you have at least 3 weeks” she told me with the straightest face I think anyone has ever made towards me. It scared me how blank her facial expression was, it was as if she had no feelings at all. At least she still treated me like a normal person. “Thanks doc” I said feeling like Bugs Bunny but I didn’t even seem to amuse my self anymore. I was going to die in three weeks. What was I supposed to do now?

If today was your last day chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

“She seems to like you” I mentioned to Owen who was rather silent as he sat next to me in his seat. “You mean the receptionist? Please. I have better taste.” “Right” I said, rolling my eyes at him while we both let out a little laugh. “Rileigh Laurent?” a guy dressed in scrubs called out. I stood up slowly and looked back at Owen before gaining the courage to go in alone. The examination room they put me in was small. There were many charts all around and there was this weird machine on the side. The guy who called me in-who I guess was a trained specialist- asked me to sit down on the table for a while. “So, have you experienced any difficulty breathing?” he asked switching on a few things. “Yeah, I’ve experienced a lot of that for a while now.” “And you never bothered on getting checked?” he asked. I just shook my head. He wrote some things on a clipboard which I guess is the one that I wrote on and continued with the questioning.

“How about coughing?” “Lately, I’ve been coughing a lot and whenever I swallow my throat hurts.” I said cautiously. “It says here that today you coughed up blood, is that the first time you’ve done this?” “Uh, yeah it is.” “Well, let’s get your chest examined then. Please step into the dressing room and change into the robe you see hanging on the hook.” I did as he instructed and came out in only a few seconds. He made me press against this machine that was called a chest radiograph and told me to breathe as heavily as I could. A heavy yellow light switched on and then off again in a matter of seconds. Once that was done, the doctor told me to change back into my clothes. I didn’t really understand what was going on but I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. I mean the examination didn’t hurt and there were no needles involved. After changing, I went out of the room and saw Owen talking to someone on the phone by the door. I didn’t bother to check on him. I just went straight to the receptionist. 

“How soon ‘til we get the results? “ I asked Kaylee who was filing her nails. “About an hour so.” she informed me and I nodded thanks. I walked over to Owen as soon as he put down his phone. He gave me a big hug before asking me how it went. “I don’t really understand what happened” I told him as we walked out of the clinic together. “What did the doctor say about your condition?” he asked inquisitively. “Nothing yet” I told him “The results don’t come out until twelve-which is an hour from now.” “So where do you wanna go?” he asked with a huge smile on his face trying to cheer me up as we got into his car. The day was hot but I wasn’t that hungry yet. So I told him that I wanted to walk around in the strip mall that we passed by on our way to the clinic. He said nothing more than that. He just drove and listened to the radio blasting some mainstream pop song. 

“Why are you being so silent?” I asked him as we got out of the car. “I am? Well, I guess I didn’t notice” he said as we walked by some shops. “Whatever” I said. “I wanna go to the arcade and play all day.” He decided to look at me like I was out of my mind but decided to tag along since there was nothing else better to do. He didn’t like shopping with me and I didn’t want him to suffer. Owen and I revisited the place where we used to spend most of our childhood days in. There was this arcade known for having really old games that no one played anymore. I remember beating him at everything, and he told me today, he’d get back at me since all he did was let me win before. “Oh please, you just can’t accept the fact that you got beat up by a girl in each and every game that you’ve played here.” I taunted as we played a game of foosball. “You know what you would’ve done if I didn’t make you win?” he asked as I struck the ball and placed it in his goal earning a point. 

“What could U possibly have done Mr. Peyton?” I asked as he placed the ball back in the field. “You would’ve cried all the way home!” he said placing the ball in the goal on my side earning a point for him self. “You’re getting good at this. Have you been practicing?” I asked and he rolled his eyes. The rest of the hour went by somewhat like that. We had so much fun just taking the trip down memory lane. We played more games where I made him accept the fact the I was indeed better than him. He would eventually take it back in the end but it never really went on long since I had a winning streak and he had nothing. 

An hour passed and we ran out of tokens. We got out of the arcade all tired and sweaty but I came out victorious so I still managed to keep a fine amount of energy. “Where do you wanna eat?” he asked, catching me off guard. I totally forgot how it was about time for lunch but I wasn’t hungry at all. “Um, anywhere’s fine with me. You pick” I told him and he smiled and put his arm around me. He brought me to Taco Bell and ordered a whole lot of food. I thought he was already ordering for both of us but it turns out he was actually ordering all of it for himself. “What are you getting?” he said turning to me. “I’ll get a Fresco Chicken Soft Taco and a Strawberry Frutista Freeze.” I told the cashier. “Is that all ma’am?” he asked politely and I nodded. I looked around avoiding Owens gaze as he paid for our order. I told him I’d pay for my share but he told me that I didn’t need to and that it was on him. He always made me pay for my share. I wondered what was up with him and why he was being so different but I didn’t want to sound rude so I didn’t ask him up front. 

We grabbed a table by the window and laid our trays right in front of us. Owen started stuffing food right into his mouth. He was either hungry or avoiding the conversation. I waited for him to drink from his cup before starting a conversation. “Hey are you okay?” “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” he countered. “What I mean is that you’re acting differently today. Why is that?” I watched as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Well, I guess I’m just really scared you know.” he said. “You don’t have to be. I’m perfectly fine” I told him with a smile but he hardly returned it. Owen kept the silence between us going. After we finished eating, we left and drove back to the clinic to get my results. For some reason, I wasn’t that scared anymore. It felt like a lifetime ago where i refused to go to clinics or hospitals due to the trauma that came over me after my mother passed away. I was glad I wasn’t scared anymore. At least I could say that I was one percent braver than I used to be. 

If today was your last day chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

“Your father’s not here anymore.” Owen told me and I rolled my eyes. “Owen I don’t care if he’s here or not.” “What happened today?” he asked tucking my hair behind my ear. “I tried to talk to him into changing his mind about my college plans,” I said sitting up straight. “He didn’t agree because he thought that directing and golf was a waste of intellect and intelligence or whatever.” Owen stayed quiet as he thought of something to say, but since I was an impatient person, I sighed and did a few breathing exercises. My lungs acted up like this all the time but usually, a few inhales and exhales would set it right again. Today was different though, it hurt a lot more than usual. “Are you, by any chance, going through this dark phase where you deal with it in a really negative way?” He asked all of a sudden, catching all of my attention. “What’re you trying to say exactly?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. There never an awkward moment between us but again, today was different. “Are you anorexic?” he asked hesitantly.

All I could do was laugh. Really? I mean I might be self-conscious but I wasn’t that crazy about my weight. Besides, I’ve been losing weight since-wait a minute, was that why he was asking? I knew I was shedding some pounds by doing exactly nothing but then again, I wasn’t really eating as much anymore due to appetite loss, but I wasn’t purging or anything like that. “Owen, I’m not anorexic. I guess I’m just one of those girls that who has one of those really fast metabolisms.” “Um, I don’t meant offend you in anyway, but the last time I checked, you were a little chubby when we were younger,” he said with a full out poker face. 

“Fine, let me rephrase my statement: Maybe I’m one of those girls who magically developed a fast metabolism.” “Rileigh, I don’t want you lying to me.” “I’m not lying! How could you even think that Owen? We tell each other everything and we don’t hide things from each other, remember?” I was getting a little furious and I wasn’t planning on toning it down. I mean I’ve known him for so long and this very moment was the only time he doubted me. Why was everyone so against me today? “I didn’t mean to make you angry. I just wanted to make sure that you remembered what you stated.” Owen said

I blew out a huge breath as I tried to calm down but even my body was playing against me. My lungs ached and the taste of blood was still stuck in my throat. I knew that I had to get checked up but I just didn’t want to go because of bad memories. “So if you’re not anorexic then what happened right before you hung up on me?” I knew he was a little hurt or maybe really hurt. I never snapped at him like that before. I felt really guilty for doing it. “I coughed up a little blood okay? And eventually, breakfast came out as well. But I didn’t let it out intentionally. I just felt sick.” I said lying back down on my bed. “Do you know how bad that sounds?” “Yeah” I answered nonchalantly. “Then why are you being so calm about it? We need to get you checked out in a clinic.” Owen said with a caring tone.

“Owen, I already told you that I hate-” I started to say until he interrupted. “Your life is at risk here! Do you know what will happen if you don’t go to a doctor to see what this is about? You’ll get worse that small amount may turn into a whole bucket of it! You’ll be hurling everything in your whole body! Oh, and I didn’t ask if you wanted to go get checked out. I’m telling you to get checked out.” That outburst got me quiet. I have never heard or seen him angry like that and what mad me feel worse was the he was angry at me. The way he reprimanded me reminded me of how much he really cared. I didn’t want to disappoint him so I decided to do the right thing. “Fine I’ll go, but only on one condition: you have to come with me.” “I was hoping you’d say that” he said with that charming smile of his. He always knew what to say and I was glad to have a brotherly best friend like him. 

We entered the parking lot of the clinic and I was shaking like crazy. I was nervous and I wasn’t sure of what to do. I was thinking about hailing a cab home right when I got out of Owens car but if I did that, Owen would probably ignore me for the rest of my life and eventually forget about me and I didn’t want that. “Look, the clinic is not such a scary place” he told me as he intertwined his long fingers with mine. I looked at him from the passenger seat as he killed the engine. I bit my lip as I followed him out of the car, not letting our hands separate, which made me feel better because I knew that without him I wouldn’t be willing to do this. The feeling of his hand in mine made me feel safer but I still didn’t have the courage to face the doctors or nurses. Once we got into the building, we made our way the receptionist. It was funny how there weren’t many people in the clinic today. I thought this place was busy 24-7, but then they could all be scared like me. 

“Let me guess, she’s pregnant huh?” the receptionist said. Owen looked at me and laughed awkwardly as he watched me blush really hard. I cleared my throat as I looked down in embarrassment. “Um, we are actually here to check on her lungs.” Owen said to the rude receptionist whose name was Kaylee. “Oh, my bad” Kaylee mentioned. “Just fill in these forms.” She handed us a clipboard with a paper attached to it. Owen handed me the pen that was on the side and I started signing. I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched Owen and Kaylee flirt by staring each other down. It was awkward and downright HILARIOUS. The uneasiness slowly started fluttering away. I was starting to feel better already but there was no reason to back out and tell Owen that maybe I didn’t need this anymore. 

I handed Kaylee the form as soon as I signed everything that I needed to answer and she asked me to wait a while. We sat isn the ward they had set up right in front of her desk and I wondered how long it would take for them to prepare the examination that I needed.

If today was your last day Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

All my life I’ve always tried to follow my dreams. I’d live to chase them down but there were always certain instances that made me turn my back on them and move on. My father was one of those reasons. He never let me do what I wanted. He thought that since he was successful, I should go and follow in his footsteps and become a younger female version of who he is now. Now, I know that it doesn’t sound that bad-or maybe it does-but I don’t want to live my life knowing I could’ve been doing something that I loved instead of having to put on a strong face all the time. I want that chance to be real-to be that someone who I’ve always dreamed to be. 

“You’re doing no such thing,” said my father right after I asked him if I could take up film, and play collegiate golf, instead of accounting for college. “You were given the gift of intellect and intelligence, and I simply cannot let you waste that by going to college to study something that you may not even be able to pursue a career in. Let alone play a sport that may not even let you become professional.” “But dad, I don’t want to spend the next eight years of my life crunching numbers! I want to be out in somewhere like California working to be a director! Playing golf!” I whined aloud. We were having breakfast at the backyard of my deceased mother’s mansion, I really wished she was here right now. She always wanted me to pursue my dreams, no matter what they were, unlike my stupid father who only cares about himself and making himself look good. Going to her mansion was supposed to be a routine way of us “bonding” and for us to make up for lost time when I was younger. We never talked while we ate. I didn’t want to because I knew that I’d only get shut down in the end and also because he doesn’t care about what happens in my life. So trying to make up for lost time was pointless. 

“Am I your father or not?” he reprimanded, putting down his cup of coffee. The sound of sprinklers sprinkling water over my mothers beautiful massive garden seemed to be the only things making a sound. “I don’t even know anymore.” I muttered to myself as I pushed my chair back roughly and ran back up to my room. He didn’t even bother to run up after me. I shut my bedroom door harshly as I crawled into my bed and cried, cried out all the pain my father has given me because of his stupid alcohol addiction, and not being in my life since I was two. The only thing I wanted was my mom to come through my bedroom doors, hold me in her arms and sing blackbird, circle game to me, and countdown from 100 in french to me. But I knew that this moment will never happen anytime soon. She died when I was two from a drunk driver. My parents were fighting one night. They were throwing things, and yelling horrible things, and my mom decided to get some air. Little did she know that four blocks from our house a drag race was going on and all the racers were drunk as hell. She was killed instantly. 

You could take the priciest watch from my fathers collection and he’d never know because he doesn’t simply care. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t care about other peoples feelings, he only cared about himself and wanted everyone else to make him happy. I hated him for being like that. He never even spent any time with his family because all he did was hide and drink himself into a depression. Sometimes I wonder why he decided to have a kid, because he certainly didn’t seem to care about me. I didn’t realize that my phone had been buzzing until I started to calm down. I grabbed it from my bedside table and saw that Owen-my best friend-had been trying to reach me. I bit my lip as I contemplated on whether calling him now would be a good idea or not. Before I could even blink, my phone lit up again.  “Hello?” I said into my phone trying my hardest not to make my voice hoarse and croaky. “Uh, have you been crying?” he asked almost instantly. “It’s nothing really.” I took a deep breath as I tried to make my lungs stop hurting from all the crying. My lungs have been burning inside for so long now and I really don’t know why.  I didn’t smoke or do drugs. I was a completely clean person. I haven’t gone to the doctor because I didn’t really want to enter clinics or hospitals. I didn’t want to remember that place where I had to say goodbye to my mom for the last time. It was almost to much for me. 

“Is your dad still at home?” he asked but it only made my head heat up more. I really didn’t want to talk about that woman.  “I don’t know,” I coughed feeling liquid rise up in my throat. It tasted strange, like blood. I coughed to no end until I got up from my bed and went into the bathroom. I hunched over the toilet and let out whatever wanted to come out. I watched as blood splattered all over the toilet bowl as I coughed and wheezed. The sight of it made me even sicker. So I hurled everything I had for breakfast into the blood-filled bowl. 

“Rileigh? What the hell is going on? I can practically hear you puking your guts out!” Owen screamed on the other line. I couldn’t talk or stop myself from gagging. I hung up on him and thew my phone to the side. After vomiting, I felt really tired. It felt like the whole world was spinning. I tried to stand up to flush the toilet but then a wave of dizziness hit me and made me stay in place for about 10 seconds. When I regained my composure, I flushed the toilet, splashed some water on my face, and brushed my teeth. When I was done I climbed back in my bed in hopes of getting some rest. I think a quick nap would probably work, but as soon as I shut my eyes and rolled to my side, I saw a figure push my door wide open and run to my side. I looked to the side sloppily to see who it was. Owen Peyton stared at me as if he had never seen me before. He ran a hand through his brown hair and made his way over to my bed, with the most anxious look on his face.