CHAPTER 6
I felt a hand grip mine tightly as my eyes started to flutter like butterflies. I cleared my throat to clear my airway but that did no good at all. It only added to the pain I was feeling. I looked to my left to see whose hand was holding mine and I smiled when I realized that it was Owens. I guess he meant what he said about not wanting to let go of me. I slowly tried to take my hand away from his but I was afraid to wake him. He looked so cute with his mouth open. Sure, he snored a bit but it wasn’t that loud. It reminded me of how we used to spend the night together when we were little and camp out in his backyard. Those nights were probably the best moments of his life. I never thought that we’d eventually move to some high-end compound where almost every other person was a snobby bitch or a spoiled brat. I hated the compound we lived in. We might’ve had a bigger house but I missed the old one. The one I called my real home.
Once Owen loosened his grip just a bit, I retrieved my hand and grabbed the notebook and pen I left at the side of the table near my bed. I brought this notebook here so that I could write messages to all the people I knew so that if ever we ended the day on a bad note, this note would eventually turn the day upside down. I’ve already made the simple ones for my friends. I wrote one for my father-which wasn’t that long-but the only person I hadn’t written to was Owen. The reason was simple. I didn’t know what to say to him to make my exit from this world okay. I’ve tried to write a few words but I always ended up tearing it up or crossing the words out. The words I wanted to say couldn’t be written. I knew that deep down, I had to say them to him but I was afraid. I didn’t want to regret not following what my heart thought was right, but if I didn’t write anything for Owen, I’d regret that too.
I checked the time and date on the digital clock on my bedside table and saw that it had been a week since I was last conscious. So much for actually trying to make the most of what I had left. I smirked as I realized that the next time I would go unconscious might be it for me. I wasn’t sadistic or anything. It just made me realize that I had to write this and I had to write this now. Having a time limit on my life gave me enough motivation to write an inspirational message and luckily, I finished it right before Owen got up. “What’s that?” He asked as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes. “Just a little journal,” I lied knowing that he wouldn’t touch it if it was something personal. Well, also maybe because I didn’t want anything to go wrong between us. “You must be hungry,” he said changing the subject and getting up. “I brought you something to fill your stomach with. It was about one in the afternoon. I wondered how long he’d been here so I asked him, “Owen, have you been here the whole week?” “Yeah, I couldn’t leave your side,” he smirked as he grabbed a Chinese take-out box and a pair of chopsticks and handed it to me.
“You know that you have a life right?” I told him adjusting the incline on my bed. “I’m fully aware of that. Actually, my life’s revolving around you right now so me being here is pretty sensible,” he told me with a smile as he scooted his chair closer to my bed. “Owen, you know what I mean.” “If you don’t want me here, you can say it to me frankly, but I know for a fact that you like my company so, her I am.” He stood up and sat on my bed and opened the box of food for me when he noticed that I had no intention of opening it up. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t hungry at all. I was just tired. I played with the chopsticks and placed it inside the box grabbing a lot of noodles. I placed it into my mouth and smiled at him as I chewed it but I wanted nothing more than to spit it out. Swallowing this would be the hardest par, but I had to show Owen that I could do it. “So how’s the signed life going for you? Didn’t you always want to be signed under a label?” I asked finally swallowing what I had in my mouth. “It’s going okay,” he said as his smile faded. “What’s wrong?” I asked sitting up and placing the chopsticks inside the box.
“We’re hitting the road tomorrow and I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other again,” he said getting in bed, right beside me. “I guess waking up after a whole week of sleep was worth it,” I said trying desperately to keep the conversation light. I was on the verge of breaking down into tears but I didn’t want to cry for fear that my breaths will shorten and make me unconscious again. I placed the box of food at the side and was glad that he didn’t care if I finished it or not. He started to sing songs to me and right then and there, I wished for more time but it seemed like I didn’t have any more. I was always tired all the time; I wheezed when I breathed; and, whenever Is swallowed something, it felt like I was swallowing needles and knives. I was hopeless-a lost cause. I found it hard to stay awake but I didn’t let sleep take over fully. Once Owen finished singing another song, I twisted so the my face was facing his. This was the time to talk to him about what I felt.
“Owen, we have to talk about what happened last week.” I stated. He nodded and pulled me closer to him. I placed my head on his chest and listened to his heart drum to a certain beat. He placed his arm around me and held me tight. “I never really had the guts to tell you in person because I thought I was out of your league,” he started to say making me laugh. “I’m serious. I thought you liked the kind of guys who could offer the world with the snap of his fingers.” “I don’t need the whole world Mr. Peyton. Actually, my type of guy loves music as much as I do, has a charming smile, and has beautiful green eyes and is there for me all the time. I don’t want a guy who has everything at the palm of his hand but doesn’t know how to love someone as affectionately as my type of guy would. And plus, I’m not high maintenance at all. I’d even date a hobo if that were possible.” I ranted making Owen laugh.
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